John Montgomery Presents This Week's	October 9, 1999	Creep Logo by Alan Fraser
	Jesse Ventura
	Who You Calling Weak-Minded?

Jesse Ventura started out with such promise. Last fall, he kicked the ass of the political establishment in Minnesota by coming from nowhere to beat out two standard brand candidates in getting elected governor of the state. Jesse, a former Navy SEAL and professional wrestler, won by appealing to independent voters, many of them young people voting for the first time, who were tired of being offered the traditional slate of bland political hacks. He immediately become a formidable power broker in the Reform Party, doing the entire country a public service by shoving founder Ross Perot off his already unsteady rocker. Soon we were hearing "Jesse for President!" chants.

Think that's ludicrous? Think again. Remember the rise of the Republican deity: Ronald Reagan. Being a grade-B movie actor is no different than being a professional wrestler. Jesse actually had more political experience when he became governor, as mayor of a small Minnesota town, than Ron did when he became governor of California. Jesse was moving up the charts, with a bullet, and there was no telling who or what might stop him.

As is customary in these stories, he stopped himself.

Last week, Jesse gave an interview in Playboy where he managed to offend fat people ("can't push away from the table''), the sexual harassment crowd (the Tailhook scandal was "much ado about nothing"), and most incredibly, anyone who belongs to an organized religion ("a sham and crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers"). Later, realizing he had forgotten to offend the families of anyone who's committed suicide, he added, "I have no respect for anyone who would kill himself. If you're a feeble, weak-minded person to begin with, I don't have time for you."

It wasn't long before the body slams started. The national chairman of the Reform Party, Russ Verney, said Jesse should get kicked out of the party because he "has lost his moral authority to lead." In Minnesota, his approval rating dropped 20 points overnight. What's Jesse got to say? "I'm not afraid to speak my mind. If I don't get re-elected that's fine. I'll go back to the private sector from whence I came.''

No, that's not good enough, you bald-headed mental midget. Seems like "weak-minded" is the key phrase this week. Jesse's statements highlight a well understood but seldom noted aspect of the whole Jesse phenomenon: He ain't the sharpest knife in the political drawer.

You want to make a name for yourself by speaking your mind? You want to provide the spark for thousands of young people to get more involved in public service by being their role model? You want people to take you seriously when you speak about determining who's going to run for president on your party's ticket? Then don't offend 75 percent of the population, get voted out of office and go back "whence I came." What are all your newly motivated, politically involved fans supposed to do? Put on feathered headdresses, shave their heads and become wrestlers?

Jesse will now follow some of his fellow moronic politicians, like Dan Quayle, into oblivion.  They manage to rise to unbelievable heights, not through merit, but by being in the right place at the right time. They posses big mouths but small minds. Once the voters see what's really inside them, which is an appalling lack of any form of intellectual capacity whatsoever, they disappear, becoming insignificant, if entertaining, footnotes in history.

Look for Jesse on one of those VH1 "Where Are They Now" documentaries any day now.