The NRA started out as an advocate for the sportsmen of the United States, providing education and public service, "dedicated to the lawful, effective, responsible and above all safe use of firearms." Sounds like a good idea to me. But as so often happens (for example the Pro-Life movement and even Mothers Against Drunk Driving) many effective and well-intentioned groups get taken over by the extremist, fire-eating, hell-bent, maniacal element in their midst. Progress ends and confrontation begins. The yahoos are in charge and they're not in any mood for discussion. That's the state of the NRA today. Their main objective has gone from education and public service to militant opposition against any form of gun control no matter what.
The NRA showed signs of truly going off the deep end back in 1995, when they aligned themselves with the likes of Timothy McVeigh and other paranoid conspiracy freaks in a fund-raising letter warning against "jack-booted government thugs." That move caused ex-President George Bush, a life member of the NRA, to resign his membership, saying that if he wanted to hang around with feeble-minded idiots, he could just call Dan Quayle. The boys of the NRA, sensing a public relations disaster, realized that what they needed was no less a personage than Moses himself. Charlton Heston came "riding over the ridge" (his words) to rescue the NRA from itself, first as a board member and now as its president.
Moses calmed things down for a while by speaking with God and then coming down from the mountain with such pronouncements as, "This is our country. We're free to travel wherever we want in our broad land." But since the actions of The Trenchcoat Mafia, the NRA has seen its slim hold on reality become completely unhinged.
The vice grip they've had on the hearts and minds of the Republican party has started to crack. Presidential candidate Elizabeth Dole showed she has a bigger set of balls than any of her male counterparts (including her husband) by declaring, "I don't think a family needs an AK-47 to defend itself." Heresy! There was shocked silence at Liddy's transgression, but this week, six Republicans in the Senate also turned traitor by voting for a bill requiring background checks for all gun shows and pawnshops, as well as safety devices for handguns.
The reaction to these reasonable reforms was predictable. "It's more made-for-TV lawmaking!" cried Moses. Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott took time out from his racist Council of Conservative Citizens club meeting to blame the Democrats for this evil legislation. "They really hurt themselves. They're going to pay." Somebody better do a background check on Trent.
If the NRA still has any doubts that the seas of public opinion have ceased to be parted in their favor by the divine command of Moses, they only need to tune in to that bastion of mainstream America, The Rosie O'Donnell Show. This week, Tom Selleck came on the show to discuss his latest movie, only to be broadsided by Rosie who wanted to know what Tom, who has appeared in those "I am the NRA" advertisements, thought about his association with the organization in light of recent events. Instead of attacking Rosie with one of the standard NRA sermons on the liberal media, Tom could only stare at the ground and mutter some dark words along the lines of, "I came here to plug my film, you fat Irish bitch!"
Rosie vs. Moses. I'll put my money on the Irish bitch.
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