Creep of the Week - August 15, 1998
John and David Kingston, brothers from Salt Lake City, could be Bill's new role models. John, pictured above on the left, recently gave his brother David a wedding present: his 16-year-old daughter. She became David's 15th wife, making him more prolific than Mickey Rooney and Henry VIII combined. Polygamy is more or less accepted by some Mormons in Utah, but incest is a bit more problematic. If David and this Wife / Niece combination have a female child, what do they call her? Daughter / Great Niece / Future Wife of My Brother? And what would that child call David? Father / Uncle? How about Predatory Child-Porking Pervert?
Evidently that's what Wife #15 thought, because she decided she wanted out of that disgusting arrangement and went running back to John, her father. Do you suppose he welcomed her back with open arms? No, John did what you would expect from a father who gives his teenage daughter away to his brother: He beat the living crap out her. Her next move was to call 911 and turn in the entire pompous pack of assholes to the Sheriff. John has now been charged with assault and David with incest and unlawful sexual conduct. They are, of course, claiming they were only following their religion and the law should just butt out. Expect David to sue for loss of valuable property now that he must struggle to get through life with only 14 wives.
Speaking of struggles, our President is now facing a grand jury, a perjury rap, and impeachment, not to mention the Wrath of Wife #1. A midnight conversion to Mormonism might be just the recipe to avoid disaster:
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