Creep of the Week - January 24, 1998
Now he has to face Monica Lewinsky, the object of his passion, Linda Tripp, Monica's "friend" who
secretly recorded phone conversations where Monica describes the affair and cover-up attempts,
Whitewater Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr, who can charge him with dozens of crimes,
and Paula Jones' attorneys,
who are now looking like the most intelligent guys in this entire sordid episode.
Kenneth has the 17 tape recordings. Monica reportedly saved a cum-stained dress from one of their rendezvous.
Paula has the "distinguishing characteristics". The only way Bill's going to get out of this is by dropping his
drawers on national TV, conducting a public search for Paula's "characteristics", producing a sperm sample
to be
compared with Monica's dress, and then turning around and bending over to let Starr do what he's been
trying to do for years. Not a pretty picture.
It's rather ironic that despite all the people who are out to destroy Bill because he's - A) a Democrat and B) getting laid regularly while most of them haven't had an erection since their Junior Prom - in the end it was his own prowling prong (and pinheadedness) that did him in. He's a goner. Let's turn the White House over to Al Gore (who is incredibly boring, but does seem to know how to keep the trouser snake in its own pit) and put Bill out to pasture where his wife will make sure he spends the rest of his days wishing he'd been born a Republican (who never seem to get caught in sex scandals, only money and power scandals).
As for myself, anyone who reads this web site knows that although I've nailed Bill from time to time, I've been relatively tolerant of his indiscretions. Just last week, in an embarrassing display of poor timing, I extolled his skills at dancing through the storm of sexual accusations with grace. Now I know how my father must have felt when he finally realized Richard Nixon was going down. (I am very pleased, however, that in the taped conversations, Monica constantly refers to Bill as "The Creep"!)
But we also have Kenneth Starr, a lifelong conservative Republican who's spent 3 1/2 years and $30 million on a fishing expedition trying to pin anything on this president and coming up with exactly nothing. Expect to hear next that Kenneth has found a woman who will testify that she and Bill played "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" back in second grade.
And we also have the frenzied media who will grab microscopes and crawl up the ass of any celebrity who may have a bit of shit up there. The Pope, the Unabomber, the Iraqis, the Guatamalan rapists, and Netanyahu & Arafat all ended up on page 20 this week.
Let's reserve a special spot in hell for Linda Tripp, Monica's "friend" and "confidant", who taped all
those phone conversations with Monica, first on her own and then in cooperation with Starr. Regardless of
what Monica was up to, she was obviously distraught and needed someone to confide in. She was
looking for some relief from the diddling she was taking at the White House and ended up getting it
twice as hard from her special "friend". What was
Linda's problem? Was she the only White House female Bill wasn't boffing?
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