Creep of the Week - August 23, 1997
Abner, a 30-year-old Haitian immigrant, was the recipient of this week's entry into the Mark Fuhrman Racially Motivated Police Work Hall of Fame which comes to us from the New York Police Department's 70th Precinct in Brooklyn. He was arrested for interfering with officers trying to break up a fight between two women outside a nightclub and charged with assault, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and obstructing justice. So far, pretty routine stuff for a Saturday night in Brooklyn. But events became pretty non-routine (as far as we know) at that point. On the way to the station house, two officers, Thomas Wiese and Thomas Bruder, beat Abner up with their police radio. Both Thomases have been the subject of excessive force complaints filed by civilians within the past few years. They claim they were just trying to get better radio reception and Abner's head happened to be the right place to get it.
If Abner thought the worst was over, he was sadly underestimating New York's Finest. Once he got to the Precinct, two more cops, Charles Shwarz and Justin Volpe, dragged him into the bathroom, pulled down his pants, sodomized him with the handle of a plunger and then jammed it in his mouth, yelling "Take this, nigger!" Charles and Justin have been charged with aggravated sexual abuse and first-degree assault; they could be sentenced to life in prison if convicted. Abner is in critical condition with a puncture in his small intestine and a laceration to his bladder; he can't urinate or defecate without the aid of various gross devices attached to his body. The other officers on duty that night didn't see anything; they were all at the donut shop. The toilets in the bathroom where this all took place are overflowing; there's no plunger in there now.
The cops say the reason for their fury was that Abner took a swing at one of them when he was arrested. If this is true, it certainly doesn't justify their behavior, but it must be pointed out that it was a very stupid move on Abner's part. After I realized Mom's advice about the police was a little outdated, I came up with my own ideas on the subject. Policemen should be treated like a boa constrictor - tread carefully, give them whatever they want, don't let them get close enough to put the squeeze on you, and be sure to call them "Sir". For the benefit of Abner and anyone else who needs it, here are some Do's and Don'ts to keep in mind when you're faced with a hot-headed, pissed-off, foaming-at-the-mouth cop:
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