Creep of the Week - June 21, 1997

The Southern Baptists
"Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, Walt Disney Likes Homos"

This week at their convention in Dallas, the Southern Baptists voted to "refrain from patronizing the Disney Company and any of its related entities." Why? Because of its "anti-Christian and anti-family direction," that's why. Not enough for you? How about Disney's policy of giving health benefits to same-sex partners of employees, "Gay Days" at theme parks, and the un-closeting of "Ellen" on Disney-owned ABC-TV? Last June, the Southern Baptists gave Disney a year to change its ways but Walt and his pals just ignored the complaints and even increased their "anti-family, pro-gay" policies and programming. Time to get tough! Rev. Richard Land, president of the convention's Christian Life Commission, warned "Disney's going to find out just how many regiments and just how many divisions of godly people the Southern Baptists have.''

These godly people have a good point. Disney has been filling our movie screens and TVs with enough fudge-packing and crack-snacking characters to fill a gay bar the size of Yankee Stadium. Here are just a few of the filthy examples:

• Scar - Can't get much more prissy or swishy than that lewd lion.
• Goofy - I guess we all know which side of the bed he goofs on.
• Pinnochio - The Baptists think it's time to dump Jiminy Cricket and satisfy some woman with that expanding and contracting nose!
• Cinderella lived happily ever after with the handsome prince, but what about her two wicked butch step-sisters? Come on, ladies, shave those mustaches and find some men!
• Heuy, Dewey and Louie living with Dirty Uncle Donald Duck? Uh-uh. Better send them to live with a good Christian family like Mickey and Minnie.
• Hey Thumper, find a girl and Hump Her!
• Don't even think of telling the story about the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dyke.
• And what about the most blatant example of homosexuality in all Disney Land? The Seven Dwarfs! Just think about those seven little deviants diddling each other with those seven little dongs in those seven little beds. Disgusting! The next time Snow White comes over for a visit, every one of you guys better jump her. Even Dopey! Especially Dopey!

God! With all the bad stuff going on in the world now, can't the Southern Baptists find anyone else more worthy of their wrath? It wasn't that long ago they were finding biblical justification for their prejudice against blacks. They actually apologized for that a few months ago, but it seems they've just transferred their hatred to another group. Antics like this give all religious people a bad name. Things have degenerated to the point where if someone starts a sentence with "I'm a Christian ...", you can bet the next words out of that Christian mouth will be full of big-time bigoted bile.

Who will be hurt by this boycott? Not Disney. After the previous threat they received from the Baptists, they had their best year ever. No, as usual, it will be the children - those little Southern Baptists, too young to understand prejudice - who will suffer. How will an eight-year-old mind process "No, Jimmy, we can't go to see Hercules because it's a gay movie"? Hercules is big and strong and cool. And he's gay? I guess I want to be gay, too!

Amongst all this dark lunacy, there is one bright light on which the Southern Baptists and I can agree. One of the TV shows which Disney owns through its subsidiaries, and which the Baptists have now pledged to avoid, is "Live! With Regis and Kathie Lee". Now there's a threat to family values!

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