Creep of the Week - June 7, 1997

General Joseph Ralston
"Screw As I Say, Not As I Screw"

Now the only things seeking heat in the armed services are soldier's genitals. Our men and women in uniform are making headlines with their uniforms off. While sports announcers, movies stars and politicians go public with their kinky sex lives and live to do it again, in the military they're still saying "Adultery? Isn't that one of the Ten Commandments - the one the nuns wouldn't discuss back in school? It's bad! No, it's only bad if you do it with someone of a different rank. No, it's only bad if you lie about it. No, it's only bad if you're a woman. No, we better appoint a commission to study it and we better include some of those nuns."

The latest in this unending saga is this week's announcement by the Defense department that Air Force General Joseph Ralston, the leading candidate to become the next Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, had an adulterous affair 13 years ago. Hmm, Air Force and Adultery - doesn't that ring a bell somewhere in your mind? Oh yeah, Lieutenant Kelly Flinn. Committed Adultery. Hung out to dry. No room for adulterers in the Air Force! So obviously Joseph would receive the same treatment, right? Forget the Joint Chiefs, General, you're looking at a court martial and 30 days in the hole, right? In the military, rules are rules, order and discipline must be maintained and no one is above the law, right?

Even General Joseph himself believes that. Two years ago, he forced 28-year Air Force veteran Lt. Gen. Thomas Griffith to resign from the Force. Guess why. Go on, guess. Griffith had an adulterous affair! Joseph "lost confidence in Griffith's ability to command due to inappropriate personal conduct."

So the logical conclusion that any reasonably intelligent person would come to is that now it's Joseph's turn to resign. The key phrase here, of course, is "reasonably intelligent". Here's what some of our country's leaders have to say about that:

• Kenneth Bacon, the Pentagon's chief spokesman, said there was an important distinction between Griffith and Joseph: Griffith commanded thousands of Air Force personnel when he was involved in an affair, while Joseph was a colonel studying at the War College and had no troops at his command. "The Army doesn't worry about adultery for the sake of adultery. The Army worries about adultery that could affect the chain of discipline, and this case didn't break those bounds."
• Senator John McCain, chair of the Armed Services Committee, praised Joseph's strong record of service and said he was not getting a break because of his high rank. "Very few of us in life have not made mistakes, and I hope we would want to judge each other ... in view of our overall record."
• Defense Secretary William Cohen said the military's ability to exercise moral leadership "does not come from notions of perfection. I am satisfied Gen. Ralston's conduct was neither prejudicial to good order and discipline nor discrediting to the armed forces."
• Joseph himself issued a statement taking "full responsibility for my conduct ... I've worked diligently to learn from my mistakes." Resign? Me?

How about hypocrisy?

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