Creep of the Week - May 5, 1997

The Republic of Texas
"Lone Star Bizarre"

For years, I've been under the mistaken impression that Ross Perot was the Hombre Loco of the Lone Star State - The Mad Hatter of Texas Trouble Makers. No more. That "crazy old aunt hidden up in the attic" who Ross used to cackle about has now been identified as Richard McLaren, the self-appointed Ambassador to the Republic of Texas. Richard believes that the annexation of Texas as a state back in 1845 was illegal, therefore Texas is still an independent nation, and he and his pals are its legitimate government.

This week, these Republic cowboys showed just how much like a government they can be: they broke into a neighbor's house and kidnapped Joe and Margaret Rowe, holding them for ransom to trade for Robert Scheidt, another member who'd been arrested earlier for possession of an AK-47 automatic weapon. Robert is the "captain of the embassy guard." Authorities made the swap, but the result was an armed standoff that continues at this moment.

If you enjoy grade-B spaghetti westerns starring bad actors and worse dialog, you'll be entertained by Richard's comments and actions during the standoff:

On the kidnapping: "As a spy, under the laws of war, and his house being designated a military target, we are perfectly under international law in our right to do this."
On his objectives: "We're only interested in getting the foreign agents off of Texas soil."
On the enemy: "These boys are asking for a total military assault. Our defense forces will fire because we would consider it an invasion."
When he saw police in the woods: "Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! Hostiles are invading the Republic of Texas embassy. We have hostiles in the woods. This is a mayday call for any nation in the world ... We are being invaded!"
On his future: Richard and company faxed their wills to the press.

Robert Scheidt, whose arrest started this whole thing, quit the group later in the week saying, "I had to get out of there. I couldn't stand it anymore." Sounds like a lot of Scheidt to me.

And of course, there's The Republic of Texas Web Site. These days, if you're going to be a miscreant with a cause, you just have to have a web site. Richard's site has ominous, meandering thoughts about declarations of war, sovereignty, and setting off the liberation of America from New World Order tyranny. That's enough to send most of us back to penthouse.com.

If it was just one jerk, no one would care. But the current trend is that every idiot with with a big mouth and a small mind which produce mindless, ignorant drivel has his own band of dittoheads who come scurrying towards their hero like cockroaches to a dirty kitchen sink. Ten more of these guys have been arrested at various points along their way to the Republic's trailer - I mean embassy - carrying a variety of weapons, Republic of Texas membership cards and even group insignia on their license plates.

How might this episode come to a peaceful conclusion? Maybe some judge somewhere will rule "By God, these guys are right! We made a mistake! Texas isn't a state after all! Wipe one star from the American flag! Send a delegation to park illegally at the UN! Bring in some women for their Army to harass! Phil Gramm is no longer a Senator! The Dallas Cowboys are kicked out of the NFL!"

Some of that might not be so bad.

Let me know what you think at montgome@servtech.com

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Creep of the Week - May 5, 1997

The Republic of Texas "Lone Star Bizarre"

The Republic of Texas
"Lone Star Bizarre"