Creep of the Week - April 26, 1997

Image: Thomas Koskovich

Thomas Koskovich & Jason Vreeland
"The Thrill of Killing"
When I was a teenager and my buds and I were looking for thrills, we only had one thing on our minds - Girls. If we didn't have official dates (which was most of the time), we'd go where the girls were: to their houses or the drive-thru burger place or the shopping center parking lot. If we were really lucky, we'd convince a few of them to join us for a ride in Murphy's '56 Chevy which could fit five people in the back seat alone (three horizontally). We'd ride around all night, laughing and singing along with the radio and trying to score a few points. Once in a while, someone would come up with a couple of beers, or even a bottle of cherry vodka, which made the singing louder and the point score higher. We thought that was thrilling.

Times have changed.

This week, Thomas Koskovich, 18, and Jason Vreeland, 17, of Franklin, New Jersey, were bored and looking for a thrill. For these guys, however, no girls need apply. Instead, they went to their local phone booth and began calling pizza joints to try to get a delivery made at an abandoned house out in the country. Several places turned them down, but they finally convinced Georgio Gallara and Jeremy Giordano from Tony's Pizza and Pasta to make the delivery. When the pizza guys drove up to the house, Thomas and Jason began blasting them with two .45-caliber handguns, splattering blood and pizza in all directions. They killed the deliverymen in the car, then pulled them out, laid them face down on the ground, and shot each one in the back of the head, execution style.

Why in the hell would anyone do something like that? There must have been some reason, no matter how illogical or stupid. Robbery? Some bad blood between them? Was the delivery a few minutes late? Maybe Thomas and Jason were going to open their own pizza place and they wanted to eliminate the competition. No. They killed Georgio and Jeremy for the thrill of it. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. Because they were there. As they say in the seafood business, just for the halibut. Thomas is pictured above in the new orange suit he picked out to celebrate his thrill.

OK, it's Gun Control time again. A year ago, when writing about Martin Bryant, an Aussie who killed 35 people at a resort, apparently because his pet pig broke up with him, I proposed a background check to determine whether a guy wanting to buy a firearm is emotionally equipped to do so. But did anybody listen? NOOOOO! And look what happened! So herewith is the Second Annual Creep of the Week Background Check for Potential Gun Owners. Pay attention this time!

  1. Do you refer to your favorite gun as "My old lady"?
  2. Have you ever loaned money to Newt Gingrich?
  3. Are you a little sensitive about the fact that everyone's been sleeping with your sister but you?
  4. Did you join the Army just to get the chance to kill somebody only to be frustrated when you found out that all they're doing there these days is having sex with each other?
  5. Have you ever used an NRA bumper sticker as a birth control device?
  6. Are you confused about Janet Reno because even though you're outraged that she's covering up for Clinton and the FBI, she turns you on, too?
  7. Will you now refuse to buys guns at K-Mart after what they did to Fuzzy Zoeller?
  8. Does the thought of someone ruining a perfectly good pizza by putting anchovies on it drive you into an uncontrollable rage?
  9. Were you excused from the Timothy McVeigh juror pool because you said "if he wasn't such a mama's boy, he could have leveled the whole building"?
  10. Have you ever considered cutting your balls off because your cult leader said to?
If you answer "Yes" to more than five of these questions, you can't own a gun and you're not allowed to touch any living human being except your cell mates.
Let me know what you think at montgome@servtech.com

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