Creep of the Week - January 4, 1997
Enuff o' dat.
This is all about ebonics, a new word which combines "ebony" and "phonics" to describe a dialect or patois used by some African-Americans. The controversy started when the Oakland School Board decided to recognize Black English as a second language, provoking widespread criticism from government and education leaders, and of course from Jesse, who claims to speak for all black Americans. The Reverend Jackson called the decision "an unacceptable surrender, bordering on disgrace," and went on to say, "in Oakland, some madness has erupted over making slang talk a second language. You don't have to go to school to learn to talk garbage." Sounds pretty direct. No trouble understanding what Jesse believes on this issue, right?
Well, not so fast. Remember who we're dealing with here. Jesse has a long history of not knowing when to draw the line and savor his victories. During the recent Texaco fiasco, he made sure that the shenanigans of the racist boardroom pigs were highly publicized, bringing well deserved embarrassment to the company. Good job, Jesse. Texaco paid a hefty fine and resolved to change its ways. But Jesse wasn't satisfied and had to go one step further. He called a boycott, which just made him look like the self-serving publicity seeker that he usually is and actually managed to make Texaco look like the reasonable party.
In Oakland, he performed the same song and dance. Not content to stand on his original forthright statement, this week he met with the school officials there and then came up with this equivocation: "The intent is to teach these children standard American, competitive English, because if they cannot read they cannot reason. They're looking for tools to teach children standard English so they might be competitive." Huh? Are you for this or not, Jesse? Let's hear some Plain English.
The worst part about all this is that Jesse got where he is today (wherever that is) as a direct result of his oratory prowess. Whatever you might think of his politics or personality, you must admit that this guy knows how to give a speech. When Jesse hits the stage, his thunderous voice can shake the rafters and quake the floors like Eddie Van Halen cranking out "You Really Got Me". But you'll never hear Jesse shout out anything that isn't the King's English. No ebonics ever pass those smooth-talking lips. He knows that if you want a hearing, you have to speak their language.
If you think you're confused about all this, imagine what those kids in Oakland are thinking, especially the ones who look up to Jesse. "What Jesse be talkin bout?" Whether he's speaking Black English, White English, Brown English, Purple Haze English or Green Martian English, nobody knows the answer.
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