Creep of the Week - December 28, 1996

Newt Gingrich

In some kind of perverse way, I feel sorry for Newt Gingrich. In 1995, House Speaker Newt was The Man, the most powerful government official in the United States, the architect of the Contract With America who delivered daily sound bites and brought rapture to conservatives everywhere. He could have gone on to become a history-making visionary, someone who fundamentally changed this country for the better. But it wasn't to be. Newt, for all his assets, is still just your basic obnoxious, hypocritical, self-serving, confrontational, mean-spirited, immature, thin-skinned, sleazy politician.

Newt's fall from grace began at this time last year when he shut down the federal government as part of a budget battle with Bill Clinton. He could well have made this ploy look courageous and won the battle, but he couldn't keep his real agenda hidden. In the midst of one of his emotional tirades with the press, Newt admitted that the real reason for the government shutdown was that when he returned from Rabin's funeral in Israel aboard Air Force One, Clinton wouldn't let him ride in the front of the plane. Parents of three-year-olds are familiar with tantrums like this, but we're not yet used to hearing it from the Speaker of the House. From then on, throughout 1996, Newt seemed to be in a funk, as his influence waned and his waistline waxed. With the exception of Bob Dole's incompetence, Newt's unpopularity had more to do with the outcome of the presidential election than any other factor. He also saw his House majority reduced by about 14 seats.

Newt's nadir (to this point) was reached this week when he admitted that he had violated House ethics rules regarding the tax-exempt status of a college course he taught and had misled the committee investigating the charges. Translation: Cheating and Lying. In more politico-speak, he claimed that he was insufficiently diligent in seeking expert tax advice and that he signed some inaccurate documents but he really didn't read them and the lawyer sure screwed up. Translation: Blame someone else, I'm a pure and honest servant of the people too busy to pay attention to these arcane matters. Now we'll all wait to see what punishment the Ethics Committee recommends and whether the IRS and/or the FEC decide to pursue him.

All this might make Newt look like an innocent victim if it weren't for the fact just a few years ago, he was the crucifix-maker in charge of nailing a previous House Speaker, Jim Wright, for ethics violations which eventually led to Wright's resignation. If the same Ethics Committee report we read about Newt this week had been directed at Wright back then, the next sound you heard would have been Newt jumping up and down making noises like Monica Seles having an orgasm. Live by the sword, die by the sword. What goes around, comes around. Do unto others. Dueling pit bulls. It's a rare pleasure to see a politician get exactly what he deserves these days, so let's enjoy this for a while. I have a feeling there will be other fannies to fry in '97.

Let me know what you think at montgome@servtech.com

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