Creep of the Week - October 12, 1996

Mark Fuhrman

Newly convicted perjurer Mark Fuhrman, one of the Creeps of the Year for 1995, is now free to talk about his role in OJ Simpson's murder trial and did so in an interview this week. "I am not a racist," he said, words which rank right up there with OJ's "I am not a murderer" and Nixon's "I am not a crook." Mark was the police investigator who testified in the trial that he hadn't used the 'N' word in ten years. The defense then produced tapes of Mark using the term 41 times, along with his description of a dishonest, violent, prejudiced and misogynic Los Angeles Police Department which has no regard for the law it's supposed to uphold.

Mark single-handedly ruined the prosecution's case and allowed OJ to walk. Does he feel responsible for this? Of course not. He blames chief prosecutor Marcia Clark for not being as smart as he had thought she was. Guess who's not smart? Mark is now a felon and OJ isn't.

When asked whether his statement about the 'N' word was a lie, Mark looked away and said "I guess it was." I guess it was, too. I guess he also caused the Brown and Goldman families to spend the rest of their lives without a chance at a good night's sleep and the rest of us to have to listen to OJ's self-serving explanations forever.

But, hey, don't feel sorry for yourselves or the victims' families. Look at the mess Mark's in. Now, as he told us in self-pitying tones, he can't ever be a cop again, or carry a gun, or even vote. Plus, he's on probation and had to pay a $200 fine. Lady Justice must be crying into her scales.

Speaking of which, didn't we have another bad case of wrist slapping just last week? A Major League Creep, Roberto Alomar, got away with some actions that disgusted us all and brought the rest of his profession into ill-repute. Mark and Roberto seem to have a lot in common and I think we could resolve both of these nasty situations with a little creative punishment. All we need is a pair of handcuffs which we use to attach these two derelicts to each other. We throw away the key and then just let nature take its course. Mark could start out with one of his bigoted epithets. I don't think the 'N' word applies in this case, but I'm sure a racist of Mark's caliber could come up with a suitable replacement. You know what happens next. The insult from an authority figure makes Roberto salivate like one of Pavlov's dogs. He works up a good mouth full from deep down, and then launches his attack which lands (SPLAT!) right on target. Mark, like any good cop, instinctively reaches for his gun, which isn't there, and realizes he has no weapon other than more racism. We are now in an endless loop which will be a pleasure to observe. Pull up a chair and join the fun! Who said life isn't full of satisfying moments?

Let me know what you think at montgome@servtech.com

[ Next Week | Last Week | Creep Home Page | John Montgomery's Home Page ]