Creep of the Week - October 5, 1996

Roberto Alomar

Football has its Michael Irvin and basketball has its Dennis Rodman, so out of fairness, we need to give baseball its due. Roberto Alomar, all-star second baseman for the Baltimore Orioles, fits the bill perfectly. He's another in a long line of spoiled, pampered, rich athletes playing for championship teams who believe that they're the center of the universe and that all fans, officials, coaches and teammates exist to serve them. This week, Roberto thought that umpire John Hirschbeck did something that didn't serve Roberto's ideas of what was good for Roberto, so Roberto spit in the umpire's face. Most guys, no matter how infantile, would have been satisfied with seeing their saliva dripping down the face of their nemesis, but Roberto wasn't through. He then went back into the clubhouse and made some cruel and unusual comments about Hirschbeck's son who died a few years ago.

Roberto is the son of Sandy Alomar, also a major leaguer of note, who evidently didn't take Roberto to the woodshed often enough. But the umpires decided that they'd make the trip themselves. After Roberto received a slap-on-the-wrist suspension of five games, to be served next season, the umpires cried foul and refused to work during the playoffs, which Roberto, by a strange coincidence, just happens to be playing in. When I watch sports on television, I expect to see it on ESPN, not Court TV, but as usual, that's where this dispute ended up. The umpires were ordered back to work, the acting commissioner promised some encounter group sessions over the winter, and Roberto is still playing, saving up for another good hocker.

Who won and who lost? The umpires didn't get their revenge: Losers! Baseball, still recovering from the knockout punch administered by the 1994 strike, gets another black eye: Loser! The fans deserve what they get for still following this sorry sport: Major Losers! Dennis Rodman looks like a Sunday school teacher in comparison: Winner!

As for Roberto, for the rest of his career, all the close pitches will be strikes, all the close plays at the plate will be outs, and all the close home runs will become foul balls. If he gets spiked while he's playing second base, the umpire won't have seen anything. And if he happens to be walking down a dark alley and John Hirschbeck happens to come along, I guess none of us will happen to have seen anything.

Let me know what you think at montgome@servtech.com

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