Creep of the Week - June 15, 1996

Gerry Adams


One of the coolest, funniest characters ever to grace the screens of sit-com TV was Eddie Haskell from "Leave It To Beaver". In front of parents, Eddie would be Mr. Polite Teen, thick with the "Good evening Mr. Cleaver, is Wallace at home?" lines. Once alone with his friends, however, Eddie transformed into his true slimebag self, hurling insults and talking Wally, Beaver, Lumpy and the rest of the chumps into some idiotic scheme. But when the plan went awry and the rent came due, Eddie was all innocent ignorance, watching his hapless "friends" take the rap. What happened to Eddie when he grew up? He became Gerry Adams, head of Sinn Fein, the political wing of the Irish Republican Army, no longer cool and not a bit funny.

This week, Gerry and his IRA buddies tried to disrupt the ongoing Northern Ireland peace negotiations by setting off a truck bomb in Manchester, England, which injured 200 people. The IRA was protesting the fact that they were banned from the peace talks because they ended a cease-fire earlier this year. After the bomb blast, Gerry was doing his best Eddie Haskell, nonchalantly claiming that he didn't know who could have done such a terrible thing, and ominously stating that he doesn't have total control over those who would kill in the name of Ireland. Just like the fanatics in the Middle East, the IRA would rather create chaos and destruction than peace.

Among those who've played the Mr. Cleaver role recently were Bill Clinton, who let Gerry into the US a few months ago to march in New York's St. Patrick's Day Parade, and spew out more of his well rehearsed Haskell-isms. Clinton/Cleaver was acting under pressure from a lot of Irish Americans who, presumably blinded from reality by too much green beer, believe that Gerry (and probably Eddie) is just a good lad tryin' to shoo those nasty British Boys back home where they belong, don't ya know. What Gerry/Eddie needs is a visit from a character on another 60's TV show, like Marshall Dillon or Wyatt Earp. Slimy, trouble-making cowards always change their tune when they sense a rifle up their butt.


Let me know what you think at montgome@servtech.com

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