John Montgomery Presents This Week's	January 1, 2000	Creep Logo by Alan Fraser
	The 1999 Creeps of the Year
	Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold

The wicked, the stupid and the ugly. 1999 had more than its share of all of them. It was no easy task choosing from among the Cavalcade of Creeps on the ballot this year, but you were up to it. The winners were all losers.

Here are the official results of the 1999 Creep of the Year voting, along with some of the more tasteless and amusing comments received. Thanks to everyone who contributed and to all the Creep of the Week readers who continually make me feel loved, wanted and violated.

 
1. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold

Only a year ago, they were just two average high school boys - jerking off in the shower, wearing trenchcoats in school, and building bombs in the garage. Now, Eric and Dylan are A) Dead, B) The notorious killers of a dozen of their fellow students in an incident which changed forever our ideas about the odds of living to a ripe old age, and C) The 1999 Creeps of the Year. Here's what you had to say about the Columbine Creeps:
 
• Because they had to go and kill innocent children and then commit suicide rather than just doing themselves in first and leaving the innocent. Because they were not strong enough to endure the teasing that inevitably comes with high school. Sheesh...I was teased mercilessly and to tears on many occasions. I used to throw up daily before a class. But I was strong and endured. Unlike those thin-skinned psychopaths. Because they couldn't accept the fact that other students were successful and/or more popular than them. Because they forever put a stigma upon kids who don't fit in, are super-intelligent, or just like to wear black. How many non-violent 'geeky' children are now being persecuted and singled-out now just because they are intelligent misfits?
• Talk about 2 ?people? completely out of touch with reality.  As it was recently reported about the videos they made prior to Columbine, they said they would be going to a better place than this !! If they think hell is a better place, more power to them.  The gene pool is slightly cleaner now that they are gone.  At least we don't have to worry about them producing any offspring.
• I wanted to select "the media" who played the video tape of the Columbine nutballs spewing their nonsense, and "Poor me, I'm such a loser that I will have to kill everyone" views on life. I would say, "You want to kill someone?  Then kill yourself. Thin out the gene pool and, oh yeah, your name will never, ever be mentioned in print, on the air, or in conversation.  You will forever be referred to as the spoiled, little idiot you are, who never did or never will amount to anything. Period."

 
2. John and Patricia Ramsey

JonBenet's ex-parents always do well in the Creep of the Year voting. They were The 1997 Creeps of the Year and they have moved up from fourth place last time. They've expanded their crimes with a self-centered book which will make them rich and you retch.
 
• Cashed in with a $600,000 book deal with Thomas Nelson, a right wing Christian publishing company in Nashville.
• For killing their daughter and defacing her corpse and for dressing her up like a tart when she was alive and for getting away with it (so far)
• Didn't even put little JonBenet on the cover of their new book, because it's all about them!!
• For jerking us around for yet another year.
• Not only did they murder their daughter, but now they are writing a book on what good Christians they are.
• I predict bookstores everywhere will see a drop in cappuccino and pastry sales once that particular work of science fiction hits the shelves, because no one will even be able to *think* about food with those two repulsive mugs staring out of a display.
• I don't know what's in their book (and won't find out by buying it and lining their pockets), but if they have a volume to say, why don't they say it to the police?
• Creeps of the last 3 years running, like OJ they looked for the killer in the most obvious places, Carmen Islands, yachts, pools, that must be where the killers must hide because like OJ when they are looking for the killers they never think to pick up a mirror and say GOTTCA!!!

 
3. Alex Hunter

Where there's an unsolved murderer, you can usually find an incompetent prosecutor.
 
• Mr. Hunter has shown no courage and little intelligence in the prosecution of the murderer of JonBenet Ramsey.  It is my opinion that he has done everything within his power to see that no one is prosecuted.  It appears to be "Politics as usual."

 
4. Linda Tripp

She's treacherous. She's despicable. She's pathetic. Plastic surgery won't fix it. She's not like you.
 
• On top of everything else, she, of all people, wants her privacy.  What more is there to say?
• She is the most disgusting, vile case of womanhood imaginable. Linda should have been telling Monica to stop sleeping with another woman's husband, and not to be fooled by actions, she should have told her she was being used.  Instead Ms. Tripp used Monica, too.  Also, being a woman we have to stick together, didn't she learn during her life as a woman that men pit us against each other so we aren't speaking, that way the can have sex with all of us!
• Linda did one thing that no other creep did.  She claimed she was just like me.
• Redefined chutzpah with her complaints about invasion of privacy.  That's too outlandish for a Saturday Night Live skit.
• When Linda's bridge friends testified that she had invited an unsuspecting Monica to her Christmas party simply so everyone could take a look at her and have a good laugh, that solidified her in my mind as a truly miserable excuse for a human being.  Monica may have been dumb, but her biggest error in judgment just might have been in naively trusting that cruel, wicked witch who had the audacity to pose as a friend.  Off with her head.

 
5. Bill Clinton

Didn't get his peepee wet this year (as far as we know), but Bill (The 1998 Creep of the Year) remains ever popular in the hearts and minds of Creep voters everywhere.
 
• The man is filth; a spectacular specimen of degeneracy in every department save one: his rampant satyriasis. Let us award him a cigar, appropriately inexpensive.
• Why didn't he just come out and say yah, I porked her and taken his consequences from Huck Fillary???

 
6. Ken Starr

He's gone. But the stink remains.
 
• Probably in my all-decade team for his expertise in bullying women, spending tax dollars, snooping into sex lives, and making a mockery of the word "independent".
• Only last week (12/2/99)  did his "creepness" still ask publicly for an apology.
• My vote goes to Kenneth Starr, with the Republiscum leadership (i.e., Trent Lott, Henry Hyde, Bob Barr, etc.) coming in a close second.
• How can you find two people more deserving of this honour, and each other, than Linda Tripp and Kenneth Starr?  I find it amazing that people like these two invariably find each other. They seemed to share one small, common part of the brain - the perverted, voyeuristic, incredibly nasty part.

 
7. Hillary Clinton

An up-and-coming rookie on the Creep polls. And here's more bad news for her: Nobody voted for Rudy!
 
 
8. Ronald Shanabarger

He conceived a plan to kill his son before the boy was conceived.
 
• Baby killers always get my vote.  I don't have kids.  Sheesh, I don't even *like* kids, but if you're gonna have 'em, they need to feel safe, loved and wanted.  What this dirtbag did violated all of those basic tenets.  When you factor in the helplessness of an infant as well as the length of time this crime was planned, it just magnifies the heinousness of what Mr. 'Gee-It-Looks-Like-Sudden Infant Death Syndrome-To-Me' did.  I say let's wrap *his* face in plastic for an hour or so.  Maybe the coroner will pronounce his death "Sudden Creep Death Syndrome".
• No creep is more despicable than the creep who hurts children.  I believe there should be a special (Spanish Inquisition like) punishment for them.

 
9. Rae Carruth

Yesterday a stupid football player. Today a stupid inmate. Tomorrow a stupid executee.
 
• "Dumb-as-they-come" -  Let's see... get your girlfriend pregnant (Marriage? Whut dat?); have a couple of your buddies shoot her *while you watch!*; deny everything and when she dies, run like hell to Tennessee and hide in the trunk of your car.  Tennessee?  Gee's Rae, didja really think a tall, ugly, bullet-headed bro' like you could hide just across the border from where they filmed "Deliverance"?  Duh!

 
10. The National Rifle Association

Go down, Moses.
 
• As a Canadian, I am forever amazed at the numerous ways in which some minority of Americans can make the entire nation appear to the rest of the world to be so ignorant, stupid, selfish and bigoted.  I remember clearly a statement made by an American statesmen when defending the NRA.  He said something along the lines of: "After all the Roman empire was great because everybody could carry weapons". Don't look now, but the Roman Empire is kaputski!

• Justin Volpe (AKA Plunger Dude).  I heard he got 30 years, which should give him ample opportunity to fully experience anal insertion.

• Ponder, Texas.  Because a dead kid courtesy of the Ramseys or Ronald Shanabarger is plenty bad enough, but an entire school full of kids who are now paranoid, confused, and convinced that either education is their enemy or creativity is antisocial, could have much worse consequences for society in the long run.

• Saddam Hussein. This and any of the past 20 or more years this monster has run the Socialist Republic of Iraq like it was his own personal mud trough.  His ruthlessness and insane murderous psychotic narcissistic behavior comes in a close second to only one person... Adolf Hitler!  This and every one of the past twenty years has been a total disaster for Iraq, the Middle East and the State Department and every other sappy president who has tried to deal with this devilish trickster.  The truth about him and his murderous insanity is evident to everyone in our government, but he's OUR MURDERER and we can CONTROL HIM BECAUSE WE HAVE THE NATO ALLIES AND THE UN on our side for the boycott.  Bullshit, all these other countries want to end it and let those kids have food and medicine.

• Al Sharpton.  News-wise, the man is the equivalent of an ambulance chaser and serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever.  Nothing he ever gets involved in benefits anyone, including himself. He's a real waste of time.  He ought to be washing dishes in some place like, maybe Denny's, or Mcdonald's.  That would at least be productive, and he would be making a real contribution to society.

• Gerald "Ajax" Ackerman. While last year tended to be the year of the bigoted ignorant murderer, this year seems to be the year of the hypocrite.  Whether you like Ken Star, Jesse the Body, or Pat (the Mouth) Buchanan -- Linda Tripp, Rudy, Hillary, etc.  The theme seem to be the great American Double Standard. We had the authorities in Ponder, TX and Standish, MI (Who I almost had to pick because of the home state connection).  But since I claim Port Huron, MI as my home town, I have to go with Gerald "Ajax" Ackerman as my Creep of the Year.  "Our Creeps are Creepier than your Creeps."

• The Los Angeles Police Department. Numerous officers have been accused of planting evidence, dealing drugs, renting a party house where they partied with hookers etc.. Almost every day we hear an announcement that more "convicted " people are being released from jail because the "evidence" used to convict them was bogus. And every day and more officers are involved.

• Geoffrey (pinhead) Fieger!! I HATE EM, Why don't we let little 13 year old Nathaniel Abraham stay with Mr. Fieger until he's 21. Now how bout that Geoffrey? He's only been in trouble with

the law 20-21 times in his long life of 13 years! And since you think he's NOT GUILTY of any wrong doing, let little nathan stay at YOUR place, in YOUR neck of the woods, around YOUR family!! Ahhh,,,,,, didn't think so.
 
• Pamela Anderson (Lee) because she has exposed herself as an absolute PIG since becoming involved with and/or marrying her "soulmate"---DUH---gag me with a *(&)(^*^*&^!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess that wraps it up for the 20th Century Creeps. We don't know what will happen in the new millennium, but one prediction is safe: There will be plenty more Creeps to come. So stay tuned.