The 1997 Creeps of the Year

John and Patricia Ramsey

1. John and Patricia Ramsey (Ex-Parents)
   They haven't been indicted or convicted or even officially accused of anything. But the Ramseys don't pass the Smell Test. They stink as much as the year-old corpse of a little girl whose murder hasn't been solved. Lately we've heard talk that a stun gun was involved in the crime. I think it was used to make the police investigation comatose. Here's what our voters had to say about the Creeps of the Year:
   • What kind of subhuman species of life-form could murder their own baby daughter on Christmas night and then spend the next year pointing their fingers at every friend who ever crossed their path, as well as about every other person who ever set foot in the state of Colorado?? These people deserve all the shame and censure they can possibly receive. Consider this my Christmas gift to them both.
   • In JonBenet's short life, she was constantly being given the message that she wasn't good enough--her eyes weren't the right color, her pretty brown hair wasn't good enough.
   • These two poor excuses for parents dressed their little girl up like a cheap hooker, painted her face with gaudy makeup, coached her to wiggle and strut like a Vegas chorus girl, and then, when they got annoyed with her for either wetting the bed or refusing her father's sexual advances, strangled and bludgeoned her to death.
   • This story has all the elements of a great literary epic, all the way down to the velcro under JonBenet's buttons. After every other element has been released into the turbid kaleidoscope of horror, the ultimate irony will always remain: That John, who named his son "Burke" after a vision, ended up burking his daughter.
   • For a year these two have vacationed in style while their daughter lies in an unmarked grave.
   • Think about what went on in the Ramsey house that night ----- they are CREEPS!!!!!
   
   
   
2. O. J. Simpson (Homeless Golfer)
   The 1996 Creep of the Year has slipped down one notch in the voting, but in our hearts he will always be a Creep.
   • And to think that he still pursues white women and little white balls! Instead of being poor (sort of), he should be behind bars with lots of other creeps!
   • I'm torn between Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, so I decided to vote for O.J. Simpson. Hey, he got away with murder, right? So far Bill has only bent the law and Newt has lied a lot, but O.J. ... yeppir, hands down, he "got away with murder."
   
   
3. Timothy McVeigh (Death Row Resident)
   It's hard to imagine a more evil creature than the stone-faced, hate-filled Oklahoma City bomber, but his lawyer, Stephen Jones, comes close.
   • I picked McVeigh because of his lack of remorse for all the lives he has destroyed -- why don't we stick him in a building and blow it up and see how he likes having tons of concrete on him and has to have his leg sawed off in order to save him....
   • To murder 260 innocent men, women and children to protest the arrogant use of power by the Federal Government and consider himself a hero qualifies him as U.S. Creep of the Decade. This is what evil looks like.
   • I remembered that complete fool, Stephen Jones. God, how we cringed with shame that he was even from Oklahoma. What a boob. What a jackass. What a slimeball. We wanted to throw a brick through the TV every time we had to sit and listen to him whining about how Tim was misunderstood. What a couple of maggots. They deserved each other.
   
   
4. The IRS (It Really Sucks)
   America's KGB, Gestapo and Jack the Ripper, all in one intimidating, dishonest, all-powerful, out-of-control government agency.
   • The IRS audited me for the reason an "illegal alien" assumed my social security number to get into the country from somewhere south of the border. Between lawyers fees to prove I was really who I said I was, time spent away from work trying to do this, the end result which costed several thousand dollars, which at the time was a fortune, and the IRS demeanor which was as arrogant as they come, it was truly a very creepy experience. I vote to abolish the IRS. These bastards should burn in hell !!!
   • No one person can screw as many people as they do and walk away with their hands pressed together as if praying. Clinton needed jobs for all those people thrown off welfare, they're now working for the IRS.
   
   
5. Saddam Hussein (Iraqi Punching Bag)
   Creep Number Five for the second year in a row. Has he peaked or will he move up the charts in 1998?
   • And can't you just SMELL him?????? He probably thinks he is a hunk.
   
   
6. Princess Diana's Paparazzi (Vultures With Cameras)
   This whole episode reminded me of why I'm glad to be an anonymous, working stiff with no chauffeur.
   • To die in such a painful way and to possibly die knowing that you were surrounded by strangers whose first thought was not offering a helping hand, but of recording the last drop of your agony so some bored housewife can catch a thrill would be entering the tenth circle of hell. The combination of macabre fascination and cynical disinterest in another's pain and suffering, combined with their money hunger and bored excuse-making qualifies this particular group of paparazzi as Creeps of the Year. Your reward is a 1997 Turbo ZX driven by Sam Kinison on coke, with all the doors locked. Have fun.
   
   
7. Jesse Helms (Public Disgrace)
   He's a tobacco chewing, autocratic, southern fried old man who keeps the balls of America's foreign policy in his own personal vice grip. And that's what his friends say about him!
   • As an immensely powerful politician who was playing the race card while Johnnie Cochran was still learning "old maid" and "go fish", Jesse has been a pimple on the U.S body politic for several decades. Racist, opportunist, quasi-fascist and bone head, Senator Jesse Helms is not only the Creep of the Year for 1997, he is truly a creep for all seasons.
   
   
8. Bill Clinton (Presidential Pooper Scooper)
   Bill has managed to slither through another year's worth of slimy antics without a scratch while making the Republicans look like losers in the "Catch the Greased Pig" contest.
   • How many abuses of power do we need? FBI files, missing documents/videos/tapes (strangely found conveniently later), IRS influence, influence peddling for donations, illegal government phone usage, cover ups, sex scandals, support of abortion and gays in the military, Whitewater, Travelgate, and who knows what else.
   
   
9. Marv Albert (Pervert)
   Marv lost his job, his integrity, his dignity and his reputation. Good thing he still has his hair.
   • We can only wonder if he wore pink panties to court.
   
   
10. Woody Allen (Newlywed)
    You think you have mother-in-law problems?

• Nushawn Williams - Take a look at any photo of this jerk and you wonder 'what kind of self-respecting girl would sleep with THIS Creep?' Answer: NONE. Those of his "conquests" whom I've seen interviewed may seem to be no more than gutter-sluts, but do their moral crimes justify Mr. Williams brand of capital punishment? No. But as for Nushawn Williams, I say "Off with his head - either one"

• The Makers of "Breaking The Magician's Code" - On December 3rd of 1996 my husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. We were given passes to attend Touch of Magic Productions. This was an event that was special to us since our 17 year old was part of the stage crew. As Richard and Josette performed their illusions amidst a backdrop of mystical lights and music I found myself lost in child like wonder. It was obvious that these were not only talented performers but that they were driven to provide their audience with an entertaining means of escaping reality, if only for a brief time. That is what magic is all about. Needless to say, it was a memorable performance, one that left us wondering "How did they do that?" A question I later asked my son. His response? "That's top secret". Even at 17 he understood the magician's "code of silence" and the reason for it. The fantasy is there for all to enjoy, that is until someone selfishly shatters the illusion.

• Swiss Banks. They were creepy half a century ago when they were gleefully sheltering the Nazi's ill-gotten gains. They've managed to maintain a consistent level of creepiness since then by providing a haven for other creeps' (drug dealers, politicians, terrorists) money. Now, most recently, they've surpassed previous levels of creepitude by shredding documents, passing the buck (or Swiss Franc), and denying responsibility for the whole Nazi gold fiasco. For these reasons--and the fact that I had the misfortune to live in Switzerland for a brief period and experience what creeps the Swiss, in general, really are--I hereby nominate the Swiss Banks as Creep of the Year.

• Richard McNutt. Courted a woman, promised to love, honor, cherish and marry her, but alas, was sick and needed a kidney... Long story short: The woman loved this creep so much that she volunteered to give him her kidney, but she wasn't a "match". She got her brother to test as a donor and (ta-da) he passed. She got a ring, her brother got nothing. The creep got a kidney, dumped the girl, then married one of his nurses a few months after his surgery. Scamming money is pretty creepy, scamming body parts is downright gross!

• Frank and Kathie ME Gifford

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