John Montgomery  Presents This Week's Creep Logo by Lynn Kauczka

The Goose Step Gang Toes Up! Knees Straight! Mouth Shut!

It's become a cliché to say, "Everything changed after 911. Everything!" I don't buy it. As another over worn cliché goes, "The more things change, the more they stay the same." I haven't seen much change. It's more like a large magnifying glass has been placed over everyone's personal attributes. If you were a caring, charitable, courageous person before 911, those laudable characteristics have come bubbling over the surface in the aftermath of the terrorist attacks. On the other hand, if you were an asshole before 911, you're a Big Asshole now.

We've seen countless examples of people using these terrible events as an excuse to propagate their agendas, politically, economically, spiritually and underhandedly. But none of these agendas are as contrary to democracy or as downright scary than the one that says we all have to think alike and absolutely no criticism of the government is allowed! Get back in line! No talking! No thinking! Do what I say! That does not sound like democracy to me. That's a lot like the message of the Taliban, whom I thought was the enemy here.

Here's what the goose step gang have accomplished in the name of their "We must all march to the same song" philosophy over the past few weeks. In Grants Pass Oregon, Daily Courier columnist Dan Guthrie got fired for saying that George W Bush was an "embarrassment" for "hiding in a Nebraska hole" on the day of the terrorist attacks. Another columnist casualty was Tom Gutting of the The Texas City Sun who wrote an essay called "Bush Has Failed to Lead U.S." and got the ax as a result. Kick higher! Pledge allegiance louder!

One of the more politically incorrect statements uttered on TV recently was made by Bill Maher, host of (naturally) "Politically Incorrect". He said that "we have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away." That was a pretty dumb comment to make and Bill has lost sponsors and affiliate stations as a result. But get a load of this chilling, Nazi-like comment that was made in response: "There are reminders to all Americans that they need to watch what they say, watch what they do, and this is not a time for remarks like that; there never is." That was no obscure, rabidly right wing, AM radio screamer spouting that mealy-mouthed nonsense. It was Ari Fleischer, White House spokesman, speaking for our esteemed leader.

Lest you think it's only liberals stepping into the goose step dung, here are a few purge victims from the other side of the political divide. A cop in Atlanta got kicked off the force for comments he made in an e-mail discussion list he had created for other right wing cops. Ray Sanford said we should "eliminate the entire Arab world" and bomb the Islam holy city of Mecca so Muslims would be forced to pray "at a crater 25 miles across." So long, Officer Ray. Eyes straight! Tails between your legs! No balls allowed!

Conservative hate monger Ann Coulter had her column permanently removed from the National Review for advocating that we round up all "suspicious-looking swarthy males" and then "invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity."  If you want to see how obsessive hatred can turn someone into a ranting, foaming-at-the-mouth lunatic, read some more of Ann's enlightened commentary. Just don't expect to read it in the National Review.

And a little closer to home, my own email bag has been overflowing in the dark days since 911. I'm used to hearing from the mindless sheep whose entire contribution to the flow of original thought consists of, "You suck! You're the Creep of the Week!" I receive and dispose of such idiocy on a daily basis. But lately I've been getting a boatload of demands (Demands!) that I remove my piece of September 8, written before 911, where I accused the president of being A) stupid and B) responsible for the pitiful condition of the economy. How dare you insult such a godlike leader during a time like this, they say. We've been attacked, freedom of speech must to be eliminated! You communist bastard! You must march to the music we play or else!

Hey, kids, we are not the Rockettes. The nation will not crumble if we don't all dance alike. Freedom of speech is what we're fighting for, remember? I have a few suggestions for readers who don't agree with that:

• Stop reading this web site
• Start your own web site
• Go forth and fornicate with thineself