John Montgomery Presents This Week's	January 13, 2001	Creep Logo by Alan Fraser
	Linda Chavez
	Linda the Lying Labor Lady Leaves

Politicians are all devious hypocrites. It's one of the basic truths of life. Business As Usual. Standard Operating Procedure. It Goes Without Saying. Happens all the time. It was happening before we were born and it'll be happening long after we dearly depart. Lying, say-one-thing-and-do-another politicians are such an ingrained part of our lives that it's an extremely rare treat to actually see one get nailed for it. So let's enjoy this one.

Linda Chavez was George Bush's choice for Secretary of Labor. Her appointment raised the ire of labor groups because of her long history of in-your-face opinions which they viewed as hostile: Sexual harassment lawsuits have made America "a nation of crybabies." "Union members are hardly representative of the American working public." The Americans With Disabilities Act is "special treatment in the name of accommodating the disabled." The concept of a minimum wage is "bad policy." The notion that a glass ceiling exists for women in business is "almost entirely wrong." And, naturally, affirmative action sucks. Big Time.

Of course, interest groups opposing presidential cabinet appointments is Business As Usual, also. At first, George wasn't having any of it. In that Snippy tone of his that we're all going to be real sick of real soon, he assured us that once we heard from Linda during her confirmation hearings, we'd all understand what a great little gal she really is.

Then the smoking gun appeared in the form of Marta Mercado, an illegal Guatemalan immigrant who lived in Linda's home for a while in the early 1990s. Marta would do odd jobs around the Chavez home and Linda would occasionally give her spending money. Both Linda and Marta agree that Marta was not Linda's employee. What they don't agree on is exactly when Linda found out Marta was illegal. At first, Linda didn't mention anything about this to George's boys who came to interview her for the job. Then she admitted it, but said she didn't know about Marta being illegal until after she'd left the household. Linda even tried to get one of her neighbors to conveniently forget about Marta in the event the FBI started asking questions. Once the real story came out, Linda's first reaction was to claim ignorance. "Of course I didn't know Marta was an illegal immigrant," cried Linda, "I don't check green cards when someone shows up at my door needing help."

Snippy, to his credit, saw this act for the devious dissembling it was, and promptly sent a polite message to Linda suggesting she get her lying, Hispanic ass off stage pronto. When Linda showed up at the press conference to announce her withdrawal (pictured above), she brought along a whole inner-tube raft's worth of immigrants she'd helped out over the years, setting up the most sickening, shamelessly self serving spectacle we've seen on TV since Kathie Lee Gifford retired. "Leenda be very very good to me!" was the message to anyone with a strong enough stomach to listen.

But Leenda wasn't done. She was the victim in all this. The "search-and-destroy" tactics of Washington and the "politics of personal destruction" were to blame. "All of you have made a great deal more of this story than need be," she spat out at the media.

If this whole thing sounds familiar, perhaps it reminds you of Zoe Baird, Bill Clinton's original choice for attorney general. Zoe got the ax because she had employed an illegal immigrant as a nanny. And guess who was one of Zoe's harshest critics? You won't need a lifeline to come up with the answer. "I think most of the American people were upset during the Zoe Baird nomination that she hired an illegal alien. That was what upset them more than the fact the she did not pay Social Security taxes," was what Linda was spurting on TV talk shows at the time. After the last eight years, I don't want to hear any Republican whine about the politics of personal destruction.

I always find it curious when someone who's obviously benefited from affirmative action opposes it for others. Where do you suppose a devious hypocrite like Linda Chavez would be without affirmative action? Probably doing odd jobs in rich people's houses for a little spending money. Which is where she belongs.