John Montgomery Presents This Week's	May 27, 2000	Creep Logo by Alan Fraser
	John Taylor and Greg Godineaux
	Would You Like Gunshots With That?

This was a bad week for Creep watchers. Linda Tripp's ample ass escaped all criminal charges. John and Patsy Ramsey passed a self-administered polygraph test and declared their innocence. And that insipid fisherman, whose 15 minutes ought to be up by now, came out from Marisleysis's closet to file a $100 million lawsuit against the federal government charging pain and suffering. After watching all that, I've been enduring quite a bit of pain and suffering myself.  To hell with it, I thought, I'm going to escape all this bad news by going down to Wendy's and loading up my body with a year's supply of the finest in saturated fat.

Turns out you could also load up on a lifetime supply of bullets to the head there this week. Robbers at a Wendy's in Queens, New York, bound and gagged seven employees and then shot each of them in the head with a .380-caliber semi-automatic, killing five. The take? $2400. That's $480 per corpse. Pretty cheap, even for New York City. Two days later, the police arrested John Taylor and Greg Godineaux for the crimes.

John is no stranger to robberies or fast food joints. He was a former employee of that Wendy's and was familiar with the layout as well as the manager's name, which he used to convince the workers to let him into the restaurant after it had closed.  He's also been arrested for robbing five different Wendy's, McDonalds and Burger Kings in the past year.  He was a fugitive from just such an arrest last fall, having jumped a bail of $3500. After his latest heist, he's still $900 short. His pal Greg has a more traditional rap sheet consisting of robbery, weapons possession and drug possession.

Since they had those kind of records and they were still walking the streets, you'd think John and Greg wouldn't have to worry about witnesses to their crimes. "Give me the money, close your eyes and count to ten before you call the cops," should have been enough to assure their clean getaways. But evil prevailed. Once in custody, John and Greg engaged in the predictable "He did the shooting! No, he did the shooting" ritual. Now they'll have plenty of time to engage in the predictable "You're my girlfriend. No, you're my girlfriend" ritual.

Speaking of predictable, the reactions to these killings will contain no surprises:

• Rosie O'Donnell will blame the lack of adequate gun controls.
• The NRA will describe this incident as an example of the violence that Bill Clinton needs to have to fund his attack on the Second Amendment rights that all good Republicans hold sacred.
• Mayor Rudy will say, "See? You should have let my police kill all those shiftless black guys!"
• Hillary will wish she still had Rudy to kick around.
• George W. Bush will assure us that this never would have happened in Texas, where everyone carries concealed handguns, even to church.
• Al Gore will say, "You may conceal your handguns but you can't conceal your extreme right-wing agenda!"