John Montgomery Presents This Week's	April 8, 2000	Creep Logo by Alan Fraser
	Earl Kimmerling
	A Sex Cop Gets Caught With His Pants Down

I've discovered a rule of human behavior. It explains the actions of some of the more disgusting miscreants I've had the pleasure of writing about. Here it is:

Show me a guy who's overly concerned with other people's sex lives, and I'll show you a guy with something to hide. Specifically, he's hiding the secrets of what his own dastardly dick does and wants to do. These secrets fall into three categories:

1. He has absolutely no sex life at all and he's really pissed off about it.
2. He'd like nothing better than to be having exactly the same kind of sex he criticizes other people for having, but he doesn't, and he's really pissed off about it.
3. He's having sex with young children.

You've seen them and heard them. They rant, rave and foam at the mouth about the moral decay of our society, giving us daily sermons invoking Sodom and Gomorrah, deviates in the schools and derelicts in the Boy Scout troops. They all claim that it's really God who demands that everyone follow their strict sexual rules and they are just God's chosen messengers. Not a word of truth whatsoever. These self-appointed members of the sex police are all hate-filled, twisted perverts whose own lives (and daydreams) are filled with constant dips of the wick into every manner of unauthorized places and things. Every last one of them.

Which brings us to Earl "Butch" Kimmerling. He and his wife Saundra, of Anderson, Indiana, shared their home with foster children, as many as 50 over the years. The Kimmerlings would care for the children until they were adopted. One of their foster children, an eight-year-old girl who had brain damage from fetal alcohol syndrome, was approved to be adopted by Craig Peterson, a single man, who was also adopting the girl's three brothers. Everything was cool until Butch and Saundra found out that Craig was gay.

No way was some flaming faggot going to snatch their darling little girl. They started out with the standard brand tactics of sexual voyeurs; they hid behind their faith. Describing themselves as pious, church-going Christians, Butch and Saundra began a public campaign to stop the adoption, saying it was against God's will and it would be unjust to place the girl in an "immoral'' household. They got in bed with some of the other area Sex Cops: Pastor Brad Brizendine of Center of Faith Church sent out letters to other churches, urging them to oppose the adoption. Anderson Mayor Mark Lawler gave them official government support. And two Indiana State Representatives, Jack Lutz and Woody Burton, co-sponsored a bill in the General Assembly to ban adoptions by homosexuals in the state. It won't surprise you to learn that Woody is the brother of Congressman Dan "Scumbag" Burton.

This cretinous cabal ultimately won. The adoption board reversed itself and allowed Butch and Saundra to adopt the girl. They celebrated their victory with a letter to the editor of the local newspaper which crowed, in typical saintly fashion, "Girls need mothers so they can learn what it is to be a woman; they need fathers so they know how to interact with the opposite sex."

As you might have guessed, Butch's ideas about the form that interaction should take involved his slimy little schwantz.

Not long after the adoption became final, the girl told Saundra that Butch had been making her do "nasty things" for about a year. Saundra, who was evidently as full of stupidity as she was of piety, found sperm on the girl's sheets and called the cops. Not the Sex Cops this time, the real cops. They charged Butch with four felony counts of child molestation, two involving oral sex and two involving fondling. He pleaded guilty and got 40 years; 20 for child molestation and another 20 for being such a pompous, hypocritical asshole.

Since you asked, here are my views of the criminal justice system. There are some people in the world who we could all do without. They deserve the death penalty. Others are pretty damn dangerous and we ought to lock them up for many years worth of Time Out.

And then there are a few who deserve to be shackled into a head-over-heels position on a nightly basis and be visited by a well-endowed fellow inmate who would wreak havoc on their rancid rectums for hours at a time. Butch is one such deserving few. And they ought to bus his wife, his pastor, the mayor and those two state representatives up to the prison once a month for their own doses.

They might find that it's not so much fun when other people are so interested in their sex lives.