John Montgomery Presents This Week's	March 25, 2000	Creep Logo by Alan Fraser
	'A Place To Grow' Daycare Center
	Stick With Me, Kid

One day back in seventh grade shop class, Mr. Gleason told us that all we really needed to know was that we could fix anything with duct tape. That caused a stir amongst that group of us who didn't really want to be there. "How about a broken cigarette?" was the first question, followed by, "Or a joint?" Arthur, who had missed a few years of school as a result of being in jail and who always had a more worldly viewpoint than the rest of us, asked, "Could I use duct tape to fix a snake that got chopped in half?" Mr. Gleason, who I suspect didn't really want to be there either, told us to shut up and get back to making book ends or he'd throw us out of school and we'd have to get jobs working in some dumpy place that resembled his shop class.

Just last week, as I was writing about the duct tape that JonBenet Ramsey's killer used to cover her mouth, I wondered if there could be any more sadistic use for that marvelous invention. Right on queue comes the answer to my question from a daycare center called 'A Place To Grow' in Hudson, Massachusetts, near Boston.

It seems that the director of the center and a parent were having a "duct tape works on everything" conversation, just like my seventh grade shop class, and wondered if they could make a baby stick to the wall with it. Evidently there was no Mr. Gleason there to tell them to shut up and get back to work, because the next day, the director tested out the theory. With two staff members present, she grabbed a roll of duct tape and an 8-month-old girl, taped the baby's arms and waist, then attached her to the wall. When the little girl struggled and freed one of her arms, the director laughed and took her back down.

Parents will now have to make an addition to the list of things they worry about happening to their infant children when they go off to daycare. In addition to getting molested, kidnapped or shot, it's entirely possible they could get stuck to a wall for someone's amusement and gratification like a Britney Spears poster on a horny freshman's dorm room.

Believe it or not, that wasn't the only threat to kids at 'A Place To Grow'. The Office of Child Care Services listed more: Force feeding for the non-hungry, tight swaddle-wrapping for the non-sleepy, and a blast of water in the face or a blanket over the head for the non-quiet. You don't want to know what happened to the non-clean-diapered.

The director, who hasn't been publicly identified, got fired and 'A Place To Grow' lost its license. Good, you say, stick 'em all to the wall of a jail cell and make sure none of them ever get within 20 miles of any child (or duct tape) again, right? Well, you should know better. Suzanne Foley, who owns a string of 'A Place To Grow' centers, is filing an appeal to get her license back. "I take my responsibility for what happens to the quality of care in our centers very seriously," she says. "Anything below the highest standard of care for our children will not be tolerated."

Suzanne will be issuing new standards for duct tape quality and wrapping techniques to be used in all future wall-stickings. Parents: Don't miss out on this opportunity. For a limited time, you can order brightly colored duct tape with 'A Place To Grow' logos to delight your child during wrap-time.

I'm going to grab my ax and find me a snake.