They Think We're Stupid
 5/27/2002 

Image: George Calling Big Dick

What did George know and when did he know it? "Nothing and Never!" his defenders say.  And you can buy the pic for $150.


Here are some quotes from the George W Bush Defender's Handbook:

January - September 2001: OK, he's stupid, but at least he's not Bill Clinton.

September 2001 - April 2002: OK, he's stupid, but how dare you criticize our Commander In Chief during wartime, you unpatriotic, treasonous, Jane Fonda-loving, communist asshole! That's outrageous! Pathetic! You're giving aid and comfort to the enemy!

May 2002: OK, he's stupid, but the FBI let him down! He didn't know anything! It's Clinton's fault! And you better shut up and crawl back into your hole because the terrorists are coming again! Not if but when!

At least we all agree he's stupid. That's bad enough. But the people with brains surrounding George apparently think the rest of us are just as dumb as he is. The recent "Bush Knew" revelations about the FBI memo on Arab flight school enrollees and the intelligence briefing about possible hijackings by Osama bin Laden caused the Twin Towers of Intelligence from the Bush Defensive team to go into hyper-overdrive mode. Condoleezza Rice, the National Security Advisor, and VP Big Dick Cheney made the rounds of the talk shows last week to preach to the common folk.

Condi has a nice smile and a pleasant personality, but the next time she's on TV, watch her eyes. They're dead. There's absolutely no sign of any emotion in her eyes whatsoever. She has that Stepford Wives look as she spouts out the latest party line. Of course the President didn't know anything. We have to look at the totality of the information we receive and put it all into context. We'd tell you more but your little brains couldn't possibly process all that information. Just enjoy your Memorial Day barbecue and let the smart people take care of everything.

That Cheshire Cat smile and those dead eyes scare the hell out of me.

Big Dick, on the other hand, has no smile or warm demeanor. He doesn't even try to hide his contempt for the American people. He's sneering, surly and arrogant as he condescendingly tells us dummies the truth: Don't you morons get it? This is war! You want warnings this time, you ignorant dumbasses? I'll give you warnings! Osama has nuclear weapons and he's going to plant one right under your bed! Suicide bombers are coming to your schools! Biological warfare is coming to your water supply! The Brooklyn Bridge and the Statue of Liberty are doomed!

Big Dick's Sky-Is-Falling routine was quickly followed by similar pronouncements from the rest of the Defensive Team: Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld (chemical and biological weapons), FBI Director Robert Mueller (suicide bombers) and Attorney General John Ashcroft (bare breasted statues in the Justice Department).

Now, no matter what happens, they can say, "See? We warned you!" They might as well have said, "You're all going to die someday!" To their target audience of feeble-minded and limp-wristed George W Bush cheerleaders, that would have been New News. They'd all be out shrieking into the night, "Did you hear what Big Dick said? We're all going to die! Aaaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

But what really happened, Big Dick? Did you guys ignore the warnings? Don't you want to get to the bottom of this? After spending months trying to get Congress to shut down their 911 investigations, now Big Dick says, "Oh, yes! We welcome a complete investigation." So maybe an independent commission made up of skilled and nonpartisan investigators? "Hell no! We want Congress to investigate. They're the only guys we trust." This is the same Big Dick who refuses to cooperate with Congressional inquiries into his Enron-infested Energy Task Force.

Big Dick is surely the most unpleasant and corrupt politician to run the country since Richard Nixon.  He doesn't trust Congress any more than we do. I'm not one for conspiracy theories, regardless of which political party starts them. Nobody murdered Vince Foster or Ron Brown or JFK Jr or Cliff Baxter. But Dick and Condi and the rest of the Defenders are hiding something. It may be just gross incompetence. Maybe. But their insistence that we're all as stupid as their boss is making my bullshit detector scream like Ashcroft in a gay bar.