Skilling's Killing Me - And You
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Skilling's Killing Me - And You |
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When the Enron hearings first
started, it was those smarmy slugs like Kenny Boy
Lay, sitting stone silent while pleading the Fifth Amendment, who really
pissed me off. Now they seem like the good guys. Because when these Enron
executives actually open their mouths, tidal waves of evil swill come swirling
out, leaving themselves and everyone else stinking wet.
This week, ex-CEO Jeffrey Skilling testified before the Senate Commerce committee that he saw no evil, heard no evil and did no evil at Enron. There were lots of denials and finger pointing and inabilities to recall events, but Jeffrey's story is that he did nothing wrong and knew nothing about the dire straits at Enron.
You might think that a CEO who didn't have any idea what was going on in his own company right under his nose might show a bit of humility and remorse for the consequences of his gross ineptitude. Not this one. Throughout his testimony, Jeffrey was belligerent, cocky, obnoxious and oozing with slick confidence.
After watching that performance for about two minutes, I was convinced of one thing: I know this guy. I've worked with him before. He took credit for work I did and passed the blame on to someone else. I've been behind him in line in the grocery store express lane when he had 25 items. He parks his car across two parking spots because it's just so much more valuable than anyone else's. Condescending, offensive and arrogant as hell.
Whether you sit in the executive boardroom or clean the toilets at Burger King, you've run into multiple Jeffrey Skillings. They're never wrong. They walk on water. And the real bite in the ass is that these guys actually believe it! Theyare true believers in their own infallibility. Not only does that make being in their close proximity a living hell, it's exactly the mentality that killed Enron. Jeffrey and his pals thought they were smarter than anyone else and that they could get away with anything. They saw the ship going down in the nick of time, cashed out and left the poor bottom feeders holding the empty bag.
One of the more disgusting pieces of evidence introduced at the hearing was a videotape of Jeffrey enthusiastically nodding his head at an Enron pep rally as some other executive was recommending that each employee put 100% of his 401(k) funds into Enron stock. At that moment, the execs all knew the shit was about to hit and Enron stock was as popular with them as Billy Graham at a bar mitzvah.
Jeffrey doesn't have too many friends right now, but once he and his high-and-mighty attitude arrive at the prison shower, he'll be surrounded by love. Like Kenny Boy Lay, Jeffrey will soon have a nickname from his new pals: Butt Boy.